Back in May, I happened to get a phone call from work on my day off. I was under my kitchen sink replacing some leaky pipes and let it go right to voicemail — a standard tactic when a call from work comes in on my day off. After pulling all the bad plumbing, I checked my voicemail. It was Joel letting me know that the reset team came early and he had some laminate flooring that he had to clearance out. You see, about 2 weeks prior I was talking to him about a project Jess and I had in the back of our minds for the past few months — rip out the carpeting in the living room and replace it with either hardwood or laminate flooring. Why? Good question.
You see, the carpeting was installed back when I moved into this house back in October of 2000. The carpet was well cared for and looked like new for year. That is, until the kitten farm decided to take up residence in our home. 45+ kittens later, and the carpet was far from looking new. There were stains everyone, and in some sections, the smell of urine from all the little kitties would not come out. In fact, in the worst spots, the carpet was perpetually wet feeling from everything that was done to it. We were disgusted by it and embarrassed to have people over. However, our financial situation precluded us from doing much about it apart from scrubbings with OxyClean, shampooing, and daily vacuuming. That is, until I got that call from Joel.
I had to go to my store to get some new pipe for under the sink, so it wasn’t like I was making a special trip on my day off on a wild goose chase. So, I grabbed my shit and headed out. Arriving at the store, I found Joel and 2 piles pallets of laminate. Both were Pergo, and both were slightly similar in color. I called Jess to get her opinion, and in a moment of pure shock, she told me to make the call on my own. Yes, my wife let me pick out the color of something on my own. Shocking! So I picked out the color I thought would look best and we started talking pricing. The laminate was regularly $39.99 a box. Me being me, I refused to pay full price for something I knew we had to get rid of. I talked with Joel and he threw out the best price he could. The price he threw out was more than fair. However, I don’t play fair. I am the unofficial IT guy at my store, a task a neither asked for, nor get paid to do. I decided to cash in a few IT ‘favors’ with my store manager. I needed abou a dozen boxes to do our living room. I found her in her office and began to negotiate. It didn’t take long to get her to the number I was looking for. In fact, the number was so good, I ended up picking up an additional 7 boxes with a plan to do the kitchen over as well. A swipe of my debit card, and we now owned 19 boxes of Pergo laminate. Sweet, right? Well, yes and no. This just meant we owned new flooring. Now the labor had to start…
First, we had to set reasonable goals and timetables. In the beginning, it was just going to be the living room floor. Then it branched out into the kitchen. After a lengthy discussion, we decided that doing just the floor was nice, but if we were going to empty the room, why not do everything? So, a flooring project turned into a full remodel, with a goal of having it done by Jack’s birthday party in October. In order to finance this, we decided to cancel our week-long vacation to the beach, knock it down to an overnight beach trip, and use the savings from that to pay for everything. It worked out beautifully!
First was the ceiling. The ceiling was initially damaged back in 2005 during Hurricane Ivan. This lead to a new roof being installed on the house. Unfortunately, during the installation, it never stopped raining. A 2 week job turned into 6 weeks. One day, it rained so hard it ripped tarps off of the roof and it rained even harder inside. In the end, the roof got on and we’re dry to this day, but the ceiling in the house took a big hit. Jess fixed most of Jack’s room before he was born. Our bedroom ceiling needs to be replaced, but the only time I think about it is when I’m lying in bed, and by the time that happens, I’m asleep within 10 minutes. And the living room ceiling was in the worst shape, but it was one of those projects that always seemed to get put on the back burner for one reason or another. So, in preparation of the remodel, Jess’s dad offered to come up and re-plaster our ceiling for his. Since I have never plastered a ceiling before and he has many times, I was more than happy to take him up on his offer. Two visits over the course of a month and the ceiling was all fixed and ready for paint. By the beginning of July, the ceiling was 100% done.
Then I happened. This set us back for a good month. It was probably for the best as I was in no shape to start ripping anything out. Once things settled down with me, we got to work. First was ripping out the old carpet. That was my job while Jess started her project of refinishing the antique door in the living room that leads onto our porch. This would be the last day we were to have fully carpeted floors. 
It started in the morning with me moving the furniture around and starting behind the couch. I cut the carpet and pad into strips and rolled them up with duct tape. Once all of the carpet was up, I saw that the underlayment was beyond repair. It was stained and very soft in places from years of ‘moisture’ damage. It was time for that to go as well. This turned out to be a family project with everyone helping. Jack particularly enjoyed to be given a hammer and be allowed to destroy something without getting into trouble. After 12 hours of demolition, we decided to call it a night. All that was left at that point was 3 sheets of underlayment, some carpeting in front of the bathroom, and to give me a good hose down.
After everything was ripped up, I got curious about the floor that was discovered. I got my palm sander and hit it was some 50 grit sandpaper. The floor underneath was beautiful! We decided to forgo the Pergo and instead, refinish the floors that were already there. Yeah, that was our plan. First, it was impossible to find a floor sander to rent anywhere. After a few days of searching, Jess finally found a place in Duryea to rent one. We scheduled to pick it up in about 2 weeks. This gave us time to paint the wall a great blue/green color we picked out. Thing were looking like they were going to happen right on schedule.
Then the Flood of 2011 happened. Sadly, it wiped out the rental place, along with most of Duyrea. We were once again left without a floor sander. We decided to take a few weeks off and try to locate another. In those few weeks, we started to notice something. The floor that had been covered for much of the last 50 years was drying out and splintering. Not only that, but in some places, it was just falling apart. So, we abandoned Plan B and went back to Plan A — Pergo flooring. 
This meant that I had to level the floors. Now, surprisingly, the floor was actually sloping quite evenly. There was no ned to fix any of that with the exception of a very nasty hump in the middle of the floor. 
After some investigative work with my handy 4′ level, I was able to determine the hump sloped off about 1/2 through the room. I tried for about 20 minutes to knock the hump down but to no avail. So, if you can’t fix the problem. eliminate the problem! I got out my circular saw, set the depth gage to the same as the flooring, and cut the boards right out. A quick trip to my store for some pine boards and presto! We now had a level floor to install Pergo on.
After months of preparation, the Pergo finally made it’s way to the living room to acclimate before being installed. Three days later, I started laying down the floor after work. The installation was not without it’s problems, but it did go down a lot easier then I expected. Ironically, it took me just as long to lay down the entire living room as it did to put down the small section in my suedo-hallway. That may have had something to do with the 8 door jambs I had to undercut in that small area! All in all, our timetable was met as the last piece of baseboard molding was installed shortly before midnight on the evening before Jack’s birthday party.
From the initial purchase to the final molding being installed, this project took a little over 5 months. Would I do it again? Absolutely! In fact, we have purchased even more laminate since then to do Jack’s room and our bedroom as well. And instead of doing laminate in the kitchen, we are going to lay down tile instead. Right now, both our bedroom and Jackson’s room will be done this winter/spring. Then the kitchen will probably follow in the summer. Lastly, in late 2012, we will hopefully start a complete remodel of the bathroom. Can’t wait to start these new projects!
The New Living Room Done For Jackson's 2nd Birthday Party
