Today was my first day off in a week. When I say a week, I literally mean a week. I just got done working the past 7 days straight. It sucked. Big time.

So on my first day off in a week, I wanted to do three things. Luckily, all three of these things go very well together.

1. Spend time with my family
2. Get out of the house
3. Have fun

Instead of sleeping in, I decided to set the alarm clock so that we could all get up and make the most of the day. We did just that, leaving the house around 11am for a day where nothing was planned at all.

It was great!

First we headed to the mall to look around. While there, I got to have a real lunch with my wife and son for the first time in a long time.

After lunch, we went and hit some of the End Of Summer sales going on. We ended up making out like bandits at J.C. Penny’s! The savings were literally epic!

I AM THE KING OF SAVINGS!!

Not only did we get a ton of clothes for Jackson, but we ended up buying his first pair of shoes that actually came in a real shoe box! This task was not accomplished without a little heartache though. After having Jackson’s feet sized by the clerk, I heard what no father wants to hear — my son has been cursed with his father’s wide feet. Yes, my son got his dad’s Hobbit feet. Not only are shoes going to be difficult to get for him, but they’ll be pricey as well. On the bright side, if he ever wants to go as Frodo for Halloween, being short, having wavy hair and wide hairy feet will be a natural born bonus!

Once we were done at the mall we went and did some more shopping in the surrounding stores. While in Babies R Us we starting talking about Jackson’s upcoming birthday in October. Since Party City is literally across the parking lot in the next plaza, we made the trek over there to look at invitations and themes. After going back and forth, I think we may have come to a compromise by joining elements from 2 different themes to create one kick ass party. Oh yeah, I decided to have a little fun while we were there as well.

After all of our shopping was complete, we headed to my parent’s house since I got an email* while at the mall that my mother’s computer needed a little geekly TLC. The computer, feeling intimidated by being in the presence of such Geek Godliness, needed but 1 single keystroke to rid it of its ailments. (+1 inanimate intimidation received!) After that we all hung out for an hour or so before picking up some Chinese food from the always excellent Asian Cafe and headed home to feast.

Right now Jess is watching TV, Jackson is roaming the house playing with whatever he can get his hands on, and I’m at the kitchen table with my laptop. Did it suck having to work 7 days straight without any time off? Absolutely! Was it worth it all for a day like today. Without question, it was all worth it!

*If you had told me 6 years ago that I would be receiving emails while at the mall without a computer I would have called you crazy…and then killed you for your Time Machine. Mmmm…Time Machine.

Living alone and being single for over 2 years does something to a person. You learn to become self reliant, self sustaining, and hopefully at the end of it all, at peace with yourself. What you also learn how to do is be your own master. You come and go as you please, and do what you want, when you want, where you want, and how you want.

For me, my life was quite simple back then. I worked 9 hours a day, came home to an empty house, and geeked out until Zero Hour*. I would build and configure server after server-learning as I went along. I would code and re-code this website. I would play game after game. I would talk with JP over AIM and plan out how we were going to take over the tech world. Life was good. But beneath it all, at the end of all my geeking and gaming, I went to bed alone. I woke up alone.

To this day I dream about having those days back. When I have a really frustrating day at work, all I want to do is come home, walk into my computer room, and lose myself in tech and geekdom. But today, there is no computer room. There is no time to sit on the computer to learn a new coding language or to play the latest shooter. When I come home, I go from Trevor Shafer Retail Manager to Trevor Shafer Husband and Father. And I hate to admit that there are days I wish nothing more than to return to those days.

Luckily, wishes really are granted sometimes.

A few weeks ago Jess and Jackson went for a week long trip to her mother’s house in New Jersey. My wishing for those times to return had finally been granted. True, I still did not have my computer room back, but I did have every night to myself to geek out as much as I wanted to. So how did I make use of this well earned time? I sat around thinking about how empty and quiet the house was. I missed the laughter of my little boy and the loving eyes of my wife. Instead of jumping on the computer as soon as I got home, I would call them to see what they were up to. Instead of being on the computer until Zero Hour I would take the dog for long walks to escape the maddening silence of our home. In the end, this wasn’t what I had hoped it would have been.

Being along for those 2 1/2 years was one of the best things to happen to me. I finally got to explore who I was and what kind of man I wanted to be. I got a kind of freedom that some people never get to experience. Best of all, I was able to bring that chapter of my life to a close on my own terms and at a time of my choosing. It was me finally being sick and tired of not having someone in my life that lead me to Match.com. It was there a week later that I was sent an email with a picture of a very cute girl from the state of New Jersey. It was me, after an hour of deliberation, that finally clicked on her picture to let her know I was interested in talking to her. And it was me 15 months later that got down on one knee and asked her to be my wife.

Although I may yearn for the days of old, it’s not who I am anymore. I have proudly added the skills of husband and father to my geekliness. I am more happy than I could ever image. Instead of rushing home to a waiting computer, I am greeted by my smiling wife and excited son.

I am exactly where I want to be.

*Zero Hour is a pre-determined time where I must go to bed. The time is set exactly 5 hours before my next scheduled work shift. This gives me 4 hours for sleep, and 1 hour for food, shower & commute.