Once again, I prove that I am a danger to myself.

When I woke up this morning, I felt pretty good. Granted, I was sore form being a human surfboard, but I felt pretty good nonetheless. I took a nice hot shower, and headed out in to the arctic cold. Upon arriving at work, I noticed my neck was a bit sore and I had limited motion to the left. I knew this was from my fall down the steps, and just brushed it off. No need to fill out all the accident paperwork and go to the doctor for a sore neck. I settled in at my desk and started my day. I reach for my stapler to secure some paper work when

—OUCH—

There was an immediate and jaw dropping pain coming from my right shoulder. It was as if someone was stabbing me from behind. My first instinct was that I was followed into the building by a merciless Rogue. I quickly surveyed my office and found that not to be the case. I think realized that the pinching sensation has to be from my fall. I blew it off, considering it a fluke. A fluke that continued to happen every time I extended my right arm or rotated my right arm. My fluke suddenly became an ailment.

I went to my HR manager and proceeded to fill out the small book of paperwork that was needed. After that, I was off to the company sanctioned doctor.

Being American, I know full well what to expect at a doctor’s office. When you make an appointment, you might as well write off your entire day. If you say, have an appointment for 2pm, be prepare to not see the doctor until at least 4pm. So I began my long wait. Surprisingly though, I only had to wait about 90 minutes before heading into an exam room.

I’m not going to bog you down with detail, so I’ll make this succinct. The doctor came in and introduced herself as Lola (go karma!). She looked me over several times and decided that my should was of serious concern. She then had me strip down and get into a hospital gown. So, there I am on the coldest goddamn day of the year, stripped down to my socks and underwear, wearing a freakin’ plastic hospital gown. She looked at my shoulder more and ordered a set of X-Rays.

When I headed into the X-Ray room, the technician was quite nice. But for as nice as she was, nothing could have prepared me for the next event in my already weird day. She had me stand up and then proceeded to put a lead codpiece on me. Yep, that’s right! She protected my boys with a lead codpiece! God Bless her.

The whole point of these X-Rays was because the doctor was concerned that I chipped my scapula, or shoulder blade. Once the X-Rays came back, she could not see any chips, but said they would have to wait until a radiologist saw the films next week to make the final determination. I was then allowed to get dressed and head ot the check out desk. The whole ordeal took about 3 hours, which for the American medical system, isn’t too shabby.

My semi-final prognosis is that I have a shoulder/upper arm strain and cervical strain. With this, I get to go to weekly follow up visits, and physical therapy for God knows how long. I should be finding out that information, along with the final reading of my X-Rays this coming week.

There’s never a dull moment in my life it seems.