Jess and I are about to head out for our Christmas Eve dinner of sushi, so I really don’t have too much time to write anything. So, I thought I would leave with a work of yesteryear. Merry Christmas everyone!!!!!
—- Originally Posted on December 23rd, 2004 —-
‘Twas The Twev Before Christmas
‘Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house
Only one creature was stirring, in his hand, an optical mouse;
His rockets were launched, from his barrel with care,
In hopes that his enemy would soon disappear;
I grabbed the sniper rifles, and lay down in the nearest bed
While visions of head shot after head shot, danced in my head;
Terrorist in my scope, his ass I will cap;
I’ll drop him to the ground, for an eternal dirt nap;
When from my machine, there came such a clutter,
The Blue Screen Of Death?? Microsoft you mother fucker!!
Away went my game, in a bright blue flash,
I jumped out of my chair, my keyboard, did I almost smash.
I reset my box, to the kitchen I go
Maybe some snackage, will help soften the blow,
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
A bag of peanut M&Ms, a remnant of my EQ gaming gear,
I grab the bag, and return to my computer quick,
Time to connect, and get my EverQuest fix.
To the title screen I go, and sign in my Station name,
Now to pick a character, none of them, the same.
“Now, Kastigar! now, Dittka! now, Quincy and Gimlord!
On, Badashius! on, Jadzia! on, Treegan – all grab your sword!
Past the tunnel in EC! and in Kith we hug the wall!
To Misty Thicket! I hear the Halflings call!”
As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,
If we agro the wrong mob, we shall quickly die,
So we head up to Halas, for some warm Barbarian brew,
Alcohol from a warrior race? Who would ever have a clue.
Belly to the bar, the bar keep somewhat aloof,
Looks to my Necromancer, and gives him the boot.
As he drew his staff, and I was turning around,
The bar got all quiet, not nearly a sound.
He was dressed all in red, from his head to his foot,
And his clothes were all tarnished with ashes and soot;
A bundle of bones he had flung on his back,
With a chant and a warm blue glow, empty was the sack.
His eyes – how they glowed! his scowl so scary!
He had conjured a skeleton, his pet, stood stationary.
From across the room, I heard the draw of a bow,
The Necro turned ‘round, ‘twas time for the show;
His scowl did lower, and he gritted his teeth,
A shot to the back, he did like the least.
He had a broad face and a little round belly,
The Neco quickly chanted, and turned him to jelly.
When from down the stairs, came a righteous High Elf;
Badashius just laughed, “I’ll handle this myself”;
A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,
Soon gave me to know, we all might soon be dead;
He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
The High Elf let lose with everything he had, man what a jerk!
The building to timbers, everything was hosed,
We all lay in the snow, looking around, partially froze;
The bar keep sprang up, and gave a whistle,
Soon we were all protected by a nice shield of thistle.
The High Elf did exclaim, as he ran out of sight,
“I pwned you all, now I’m logging off for the night!”